- "He who hesitates is lost."
- —Widdershins' motto
Captain Widdershins, captain of the Queequeg, is a V.F.D. Volunteer. He claims to be the stepfather of Fernald and Fiona, although it is possible he is lying and that he is their biological father. He continually tells Fiona that her mother died in a "manatee accident," though Fiona doesn't believe it was an accident; indeed, towards the end of the book, it is revealed that Widdershins was wrong about this.
Widdershins has a very long mustache that curls up at both ends like a pair of parentheses. He has a rather peculiar way of speaking, often making redundant comments and interjecting them with the word "Aye!" and he feels a great need to remain in control, objecting when anyone makes a statement that could be even slightly construed as a command. Widdershins cares very much for Fiona and refuses to discuss any of V.F.D.'s secrets in front of her. This, he believes, will keep her from harm. It is clear that he knows many of said secrets, and it is known that he taught Olivia Caliban (Madame Lulu) how to read coded stains on maps.
The Grim Grotto
He was last heard from when Kit Snicket said he was aboard the Queequeg when Hector's Self-Sustaining Hot Air Mobile Home crashed into it. Widdershins chose to take his chances with the Great Unknown and nothing else has been heard of him.
- He once worked with Jacques Snicket on the Queequeg.
- Widdershins mentions that he was friends with Josephine Anwhistle and that he patrolled the waters of Lake Lachrymose for years.
- In The End, Ishmael mentions that Captain Widdershins searched the wreckage of the Baudelaire Mansion and discovered the Duchess of Winnipeg's ring, only to lose it later in a storm at sea.
- He is possibly Friday Caliban's father. Due to this rumor, the assumption can also be made that his first name may be Thursday.
- He wholeheartedly believed and shared the false news report of Lemony Snicket's death to Beatrice Baudelaire and several other members of V.F.D.
- Widdershins is a rare word for going counterclockwise or something unlucky.