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Carmelita Spats (TAA)
Carmelita Spats
Biographical information
Died

Hotel Denouement fire. (Possibly)

Alias
  • A tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian
  • A ball-playing cowboy superhero soldier pirate
Title(s)

False Spring Queen

Physical description
Gender

Female

Hair color

Ginger

Skin color

Probably peach

Relationships
Family members
.
You may wish to consult Carmelita (disambiguation) for other, similarly-named pages.
"Don't even THINK of eating around here, you cakesniffers! Nobody wants to have lunch with people who live in the Orphans Shack! Cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack! Cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack! Cake sniffing orphans in the orphan shack!"
—Carmelita insulting the Baudelaire orphans

Carmelita Spats is an extremely unpleasant girl whom Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire first encountered in The Austere Academy at Prufrock Preparatory School.

Biography

The Austere Academy

The Baudelaire orphans first encounter Carmelita in The Austere Academy, who rudely refers to them as "cakesniffers", tells them to get lost, and makes their lives difficult at the school. Isadora and Duncan Quagmire aren't fond of Carmelita either. Carmelita ridicules the Baudelaires for being orphans and having no parents, as if them losing their parents is somehow something "funny" instead of serious, and so she creates a jeer and bullies them constantly, enticing other students to join in the bullying.

Carmelita was in the same class as Violet (Mr. Remora). Every few minutes Carmelita would lean forward and poke Violet with a stick, whisper "orphan", and Violet would lose her concentration and forget to write down some detail of Mr. Remora's latest story.

Carmelita is one of Vice Principal Nero's favorite students, and he plays favorites with her. She also is given a job by Coach Genghis (Count Olaf) to tell the Baudelaires when they required to attend S.O.R.E. sessions (after which she would snobbily demand a tip).

When the Baudelaires are expelled from school, they are relieved they will never have to deal with Carmelita again... or so they think.

The Slippery Slope

They meet her again in The Slippery Slope, while she is traveling with a group of Snow Scouts to celebrate False Spring in the Mortmain Mountains. The two elder Baudelaires had enough troubles in the Mortmain Mountains without running into this unpleasant person, and at the sound of her voice they almost turned around and took their chances once more with the snow gnats swarming outside.

Near the end of the novel, the Baudelaires unmask and reveal their identities to her. After Violet and Klaus rescue Sunny, Carmelita quickly joins Count Olaf's and Esmé Squalor's troupe, after Esmé claims she will buy Carmelita all sorts of "in" outfits. Carmelita threatens to kill the Baudelaires and Quigley Quagmire by pushing them off the mountain, saying she is ready to start an exciting and fashionable new life. The Baudelaires and Quigley escape on a toboggan.

The Grim Grotto

CarmelitaGGRussian

Carmelita in the Russian version.

In The Grim Grotto, she is a "tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian", as described by herself in a song:

C is for 'cute'
A is for 'adorable'!
R is for 'ravishing'!
M is for 'gorgeous'!
E is for 'excellent'!
L is for 'lovable'!
I is for 'I'm the best'!
T is for 'talented'!
A is for 'a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian'!

The song was so irritating, and sting so poorly, that Violet and Klaus almost felt as if they were being tortured after all, particularly as Carmelita kept on singing it, over and over and over. Klaus comments that someone should tell Carmelita that the word 'gorgeous' does not start with 'm'.

She writes a biography about herself called The Biography of the Smartest, Prettiest, most Darling Little Girl in the Whole Wide World, although most people (Sunny, Klaus, and Violet, for example) think she's a spoiled brat.

Esmé starts referring to Carmelita as "the daughter she never had," and spoils her accordingly; both she and Olaf are seen within the book to bend to her every whim. Olaf is less fond of her, and this dislike grows during the book, but is still persuaded to name his submarine The Carmelita, Carmelita having said that The Olaf is a "cakesniffing" name.

The Penultimate Peril

CarmelitaPPRussian

Carmelita in the Russian version.

At the Hotel Denouement in The Penultimate Peril, she says she's a "ball-playing cowboy superhero soldier pirate" and dresses as one. Carmelita's spoiled attitude appears to have to have been exacerbated under the care of Esmé Squalor.

Violet encounters her on the roof of the hotel. As part of her concierge disguise, Violet gives Carmelita a harpoon gun to shoot down a crow to obtain The Sugar Bowl.

Olaf becomes increasingly tired of her attitude and violently knocks her to the floor while taking her harpoon gun, ending their already tenuous relationship.

Carmelita submits a book about how wonderful she believes herself to be as evidence in a trial against Count Olaf. It is implied earlier that Carmelita herself published this book, entitled Carmelita Spats, Me: The Completely Authorized Autobiography of the Prettiest, Smartest, Most Darling Girl in the Whole Wide World; an excerpt from Page 793 detailing her misguided encounter with a V.F.D. librarian appears in Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography where it is listed as having been published by Spoiled Brat Press.

It is unknown whether she survived the fire at the Hotel Denouement.

Personality

"I'm the cutest, prettiest, nicest girl in the whole school."
—Carmelita, regarding herself

In The Austere Academy, Lemony Snicket describes her as a rude, violent and filthy little girl. He mentions that if you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway. This implies that Lemony Snicket despises Carmelita more than he does Count Olaf. He says it is a shame he must describe her to the reader because there are enough ghastly and distressing things in the story without even mentioning such an unpleasant person. Snicket warns that one should stay as far from Carmelita as possible, and Duncan Quagmire tells the Baudelaires that the less time a person spends with her the happier he or she will be. Isadora once wrote this poem: "I would rather eat a bowl of vampire bats than spend an hour with Carmelita Spats."

Carmelita is a mean, arrogant, snobby and selfish girl who cares for nobody but herself, demanding respect and reverence for herself, and insults the Baudelaires by calling them "cakesniffers". Carmelita acts as if she is the center of the universe and the entire world revolves around her. Her spoiled personality makes her show no respect to her elders and the world around her. Esmé seems unaware of these traits, or even is implied to adore them, spoiling and fussing over Carmelita, of which Olaf highly disapproves. Olaf seems rather annoyed by her, as he is used to having things his own way, and it comes as a blow when Esmé seems more interested in Carmelita's needs.

Behind the scenes

She is portrayed by Kitana Turnbull in the TV series.

Trivia

  • Her hair is a reddish-ginger color on the cover of both the UK and US books.
  • In The Slippery Slope, Esmé lists the fortunes the villains will steal from the captured Snow Scouts. One of these is "the Spats fortune."
  • It is implied that Carmelita's parents are rich and could be connected to V.F.D.
  • In Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (which takes place after A Series of Unfortunate Events) Vice Principal Nero sends a letter to Carmelita's parents, in which Carmelita seems to be alive.
  • It is never explained what "cakesniffer" means. It likely refers to cake being an expensive luxury the Baudelaires are too poor to afford, so all they can do is sniff cake from a distance. It may also relate to the saying "Let them eat cake" which the Baudelaires hear in the next book.

Appearances

Gallery

Books

TV series

SEASON 2 SPOILER WARNING

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