The In Auction is an auction that only sells things that are in. Esmé Squalor was in charge of it along with Gunther who is really Count Olaf. It takes place in Veblen Hall in The City. The Quagmire triplets were smuggled out using lot 48. Esmé said that all the money goes to a "good cause", herself. The auction occurs at the end of The Ersatz Elevator.
- Lot 14: An enormous globe
- Lot 25: A rare piano
- Lot 46: Vase with blue flowers
- Lot 47: Chocolate ballet slippers
- Lot 48: A giant red herring statue in which Duncan Quagmire and Isadora Quagmire were held
- Lot 49: A valuable postage stamp
- Lot 50: Very Fancy Doilies