|Lucky Smells Lumbermill|
It is surrounded by a long wooden wall with one gate that has "Lucky Smells Lumbermill" stuck on it with gum.
As the name of the book implies, it is a miserable mill. The workers at the mill are not treated very well. They are forced to live in a windowless room (with windows drawn on the walls) and to sleep in uncomfortable bunk beds. Their only meals are chewing gum, for lunch, and disgusting casseroles for dinner. All workers are paid in coupons that they cannot use. This is actually illegal according to The Paltryville Constitution (as read by Phil near the end of The Miserable Mill). It is revealed that the workers are brainwashed and mind controlled with hypnotism by Dr. Georgina Orwell.
There is a library at the mill, but it only consists of three books, The History of Lucky Smells Lumbermill, by Sir, The Paltryville Constitution, and Advanced Ocular Science.
The lumbermill gets its lumber from the surrounding Finite Forest ("finite" means "limited", so it may be a commentary on deforestation). According to an excerpt from The History of Lucky Smells Lumbermill, the mill supplied the special emerald lumber used to build the Baudelaire, Snicket, and Quagmire mansions. In The Penultimate Peril, Sir mentions that the mill also provided the lumber used in the construction of the Opportune Odors Horseradish Factory and the Hotel Denouement.
- Sir - Owner
- Charles - Sir's Partner
- Phil - Worker (quit)
- Foreman Firstein - Foreman
- The Bald Man with the Long Nose A.K.A. Foreman Flacutono - Foreman (quit)
- Violet Baudelaire - Worker (fired)
- Klaus Baudelaire - Worker (fired)
- Sunny Baudelaire - Worker (fired)