Officer Luciana

Officer Luciana in the TV series.

Officer Luciana is Esmé Squalor’s disguise during the events of The Vile Village.

The Vile Village

After Count Olaf and his troupe arrive in the Village of Fowl Devotees, they presumably kill the old chief of police and Esmé takes over the role, posing as Officer Luciana. She promises to the village to keep them safe, and they all believe her. She later brings in Jacques Snicket (dressed as Count Olaf) and they decide to punish him by burning him at the stake, but he escapes. Count Olaf chases after him and, after Esmé knocks Jacques unconscious with a heavy book, Olaf kills him with a crowbar.

They frame the Baudelaires but they escape and and free the Quagmires. After escaping on a fire truck, the Quagmires climb up to Hector’s mobile home, and Officer Luciana uses her harpoon gun in violation of the "no mechanical devices" rule. But when the Quagmires throw down their commonplace books, she shoots at it and destroys them, but she also kills a crow. The village get angry and annoyed, and she and Detective Dupin escape the village.


Esmé uses several strange names to confuse the villagers, but tells them just to call her Officer Luciana. The initials of two of the three names she uses spell "spam". The names are:

  • Sabrina Pepper Anastasia Marigold (TV series)
  • Donatella Violetta Cappuccino Milano (TV series)
  • Sarah Petunia Alexandra Maryellen (TV series)


  • In the books, the Baudelaires do not know Officer Luciana's identity because she wears a motorcycle helmet. In the TV series, they see through the disguise immediately, but they are not allowed to talk on the platform and Esmé sinisterly threatens the Baudelaires, saying they are always being watched, frightening them from telling anyone.