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Biographical information

Hotel Denouement fire (possibly)[1]

Physical description


Hair color

Grey (in TV series)

Eye color

Blue (in TV series)

Love interests
  • Charles (Most likely, confirmed in TV series)

Lumbermill owner

"Call me Sir. Everyone does, because I tell 'em to. I'm the boss, they have to do what I say."
—Sir introducing himself to the Baudelaire orphans

Sir is the fourth guardian of the Baudelaire orphans and the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill.[3]

He is portrayed by Don Johnson in the TV series.


Sir is the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill, located in Paltryville.[4]

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Sir at his desk.

Sir's real name is unknown. It is extremely difficult to pronounce, as evidenced by Mr. Poe's attempts early in the book. Equally obscure is Sir's appearance, his entire head is hidden by a thick layer of smoke from his ever-burning cigar. He shows little concern for either the Baudelaire orphans or his employees, whom he pays in coupons and provides an unsatisfying meal of chewing gum for lunch and disgusting casseroles for dinner. The possible reason he is so mean and greedy is that, according to Charles, he had a very terrible childhood.

A character with similar traits to Sir, Smogface Wiley, appears in All the Wrong Questions. He may be Sir, but it is never confirmed.

In the end of The Miserable Mill, he fires the Baudelaires, claiming that they were too much trouble. He later appears in The Penultimate Peril.

It is unknown if Sir survived the Hotel Denouement fire.

Sir and Charles Relationship

It is thought by some readers that Sir is in a relationship with his employee and partner, Charles. Some moments in The Miserable Mill in combination with their chat in The Penultimate Peril and them holding hands while running through the smoke of the Hotel Denouement fire hint that this theory may be true. Also, in The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket tells Beatrice Baudelaire that he will love her until "C realizes that S is not worthy of his love," confirming suspicions of the relationship. As well as that, they are mentioned to be partners—the lack of mention of them being business partners is unusual, and suggests they may be romantic partners.

The TV series adaptation made this relationship more explicit, referring to their partnership as one made possible by a more progressive culture and high court decisions, a reference to real-life cases such as Obergefell v. Hodges, or perhaps Lawrence v. Texas, and at one point Charles attempts to kiss Sir but Sir does not notice.



  1. PROSE: The Penultimate Peril
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 These were the attempts of Mr. Poe to pronounce the name of Sir as it was written down on paper.
  3. PROSE: The Miserable Mill
  4. Cite error: Invalid <ref> tag; no text was provided for refs named B4:TMM


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