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The Anxious Clown is a fast food restaurant that is filled with neon lights. In The Wide Window, the Baudelaires, Mr. Poe, and Count Olaf (disguised as Captain Sham) eat there. Their waiter, Larry, says, "I didn't realize this was a sad occasion", a V.F.D. coded phrase.

Known customers include Mr. Poe, his sister, Eleanora, the Baudelaires, Count Olaf, Josephine Anwhistle, and Jacques Snicket.

The menu includes the Extra Fun Family Appetizer (a bunch of things fried together and served with a sauce), Surprising Chicken Salad (which you should, on no occasion, ever order), and Cheer-up Cheeseburgers (cheeseburgers with the ingredients made into a smiley face).

According to Jacques Snicket in a letter to Lemony in Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography, the food there is dreadful. In the Unauthorized Autobiography, there is an audiotape of Eleanora and Arthur Poe having lunch there and discussing what to order. There is also another restaurant of the Anxious Clown in The City shown on the first black and white illustration in The Penultimate Peril.

The Anxious Clown might be a parody of real-life fast food chain Jack in the Box.

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