Bald Man with the Long Nose

“	You're a pretty one. If I were you I would try not to anger Count Olaf, or he might wreck that pretty little face of yours.	”
	— The Bald Man to Violet Baudelaire

The Bald Man with the Long Nose, better known simply as the Bald Man, is one of Count Olaf's associates, and a member of the Count's original theater troupe. The Bald Man remains with Olaf through several of his schemes, most notably disguising himself as Foreman Flacutono at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill, as well as posing as a head doctor at Heimlich Hospital.

He continues to travel with Olaf until his eventual death at the hands of several lions, along with Madame Lulu, at the Caligari Carnival.

Biography

The Bad Beginning

The Bald Man with the Long Nose joined Count Olaf's theater troupe sometime before the Count adopted the Baudelaire orphans in an effort to acquire the children's fortune.

He is first seen by the orphans when he, along with Olaf and the rest of the troupe, arrive at the Count's house to find the children in the kitchen preparing dinner for them. The bald man asks Olaf if these are the children he'd told him about, and Olaf replies that they are, but they're so awful he can barely stand to touch them. After Olaf and the rest of the troupe move to the dining room, the bald man briefly stays behind and scares Violet, the eldest child, by telling her that she's a "pretty one", and that she should be careful otherwise Olaf would wreck that "pretty little face of hers".

He soon joins the others at the table, and they begin to pound rudely on the table in strict rhythm while awaiting dinner to be served by the orphans. After finishing the pasta puttanesca prepared by the children, the troupe begins pounding on the table again until dessert is served. Once the troupe has finished dinner, they leave to perform their play after watching Olaf "punish" the children due to them standing up to him, striking Klaus across the face.

Later, during the troupe's performance of The Marvelous Marriage, which was actually a scheme of Olaf's involving marrying Violet in order to gain the children's fortune, the bald man oversees the preparations for the event. He rushes past the Baudelaires but stops to warn them not to get up to any "funny business". He tells them to do exactly what Olaf says, otherwise Sunny, who was currently dangling from Olaf's tower in a birdcage, would be dropped to her doom. During the play, he and Klaus play audience members, and he "supervises" Klaus. After Olaf's scheme is revealed, another of his henchmen turns out the lights and he and his associates make their escape.

The Miserable Mill

Bald man disguised — The bald man in disguise as Foreman Flacutono.

After Violet, Klaus and Sunny are taken to stay at Lucky Smells Lumbermill in the care of its owner Sir and his partner Charles, the Bald Man solely accompanies Count Olaf to Paltryville where the mill is located. There, Olaf disposes of Foreman Firstein, and replaces him with a disguised Bald Man, under the alias of Foreman Flacutono. He wears a curly white wig, with a white surgical mask covering his mouth and nose, leaving two eyes peering creepily from behind the mask which is extended forwards with the length of the Bald Man's nose.

The Baudelaires wake up to the sound of Foreman Flacutono banging two large metal pots together loudly. He tells the workers inside the mill, including the newly recruited Baudelaires, to wake up, and calls them "lazy, smelly things". He tells them it's time for work and that there's a new shipment of logs "just waiting to be made into lumber". Phil, an optimistic lumber worker, introduces Flacutono to the Baudelaries. The "foreman" drops his metal pots and replies that he wasn't told they would be midgets, and Violet tells him they're not midgets but children. Flacutono says he doesn't care about that, but only cares that they get out of bed and get to the mill.

Later, after a few more days of working, the foreman deliberately trips up Klaus as the latter is on his way to get back to work after his short break. Klaus yells that he tripped him up, but the foreman pretends not to have noticed. Violet runs to her brother and sees that his glasses are hopelessly broken. She turns to the foreman who simply shrugs and says "too bad for you". Charles disapproves of Flacutono's attitude and takes Klaus to the local optometrist Georgina Orwell. However, this was actually Olaf's plan, as Orwell was an old associate of his. After Orwell hypnotises Klaus, Flacutono orders him to operate the stamping machine, but he ends up causing an accident and injuring Phil's leg. After the accident, the foreman trips Klaus again in the same way, but this time sends all three of the orphans to the optometrist.

Later, Foreman Flacutono and Shirley, Count Olaf's disguise, force a hypnotized Klaus to push Charles, who is tied to a log, into a large sawblade. However, Violet and Klaus intervene, and soon Charles is freed, but Dr. Orwell ends up falling onto the saw. The two disguised villains are apprehended, but they soon escape out of a window.

The Hostile Hospital

The Bald Man disguised as the head doctor at Heimlich Hospital.

Later, in The Hostile Hospital, he is in charge of the operation of the world's first cranioectomy on Violet. Luckily, Klaus stalls until Violet wakes up and the surgery is called off.

The Carnivorous Carnival

The Bald Man with the Long Nose, along with the surviving members of the troupe, accompany Count Olaf to the Caligari Carnival, where they meet up with the fortune teller Madame Lulu. The troupe, including the Bald man, help Count Olaf dig a pit in which a pack of starving lions are placed for an upcoming show in which one of the carnival's freaks will be thrown to and devoured by the beasts.

At one point, the Bald man says that someone else may accidentally fall to the lions, hinting at his upcoming death. During the actual show, when the two conjoined freaks Beverly and Elliot, who are actually Violet and Klaus in disguise, are picked to be eaten and no-one is willing to push them, mayhem ensues within the audience. The Bald man is among those who is eager to claim the reward and tries to shove the two conjoined siblings to the lions, but, in the chaos, both Madame Lulu and the Bald man are accidentally pushed into the pit and are devoured by the beasts.

Personality

In the books the Bald Man with the Long Nose appears "as bald as an egg and as devious an Egyptian King." He is more sadistic and generally evil than the Hook-Handed Man, but less so than Olaf. He and the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender are the only troupe members in the books who don't ever question Olaf's treachery, and stay loyal to him until their deaths. The bald man acts creepily towards Violet, calling her a "pretty one" and scaring her by saying Olaf may ruin that "pretty little face of hers".

In the film adaptation, the bald man is portrayed as being slightly dim and gullible. He doesn't talk much and seems to be quite shy, though he is able to handle the hydraulics during The Marvelous Marriage play. The bald man doesn't seem to be as evil as Olaf or the Hook-Handed Man, in contrast to his personality in the books. He is quite gullible as he trades his job at the hydraulics for a role in The Marvelous Marriage, which allows Klaus to escape Olaf's clutches.

In the Netflix TV series, the bald man is mainly distinguished by his height and strength rather than actually being bald. He is quite dim-witted, and often looks confused. In some moments of the series he shows signs of not being completely evil but, unlike most of the other members of Olaf's troupe, he seems to be generally an evil person. He also seems to have feelings for Esmé.

Film

I am NOT a MONKEY!

The following article or section concerns information that is considered even less canonical than the chance of a happy ending. Any information following should not be used as a source for the canon of the book series.

The Bald Man with the Long Nose appears in the Brad Silberling 2004 film adaptation Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, portrayed by Luis Guzmán. He doesn't seem to have a long nose, and is shorter and chubbier than he is portrayed in the books. He is credited as "Bald Man".

Bald Man, White-faced Woman, Enormous Adrogynous Person — The Bald Man (left) with one of the White-faced women and the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender.

He is first seen as the troupe returns to Olaf's house where Violet and Klaus are scrubbing the floor. Olaf orders them to prepare dinner for him and the rest of the troupe, and then he and his associates walk through to the entertainment room to rehearse their upcoming play. Olaf asks who should play the "bald-headed stranger", and the bald man cheers and raises his hand. Olaf deliberately ignores him and pretends to think hard about the decision. The bald man continues to try to attract his attention until the count turns to him and asks if he wants something, and the henchman points to his bald head. Olaf ignores him and moves onto the next role.^[5]

Bald man deleted scene — The Bald man volunteering for the role of the "Bald-headed stranger".

After the Baudelaires tell the troupe that dinner is served, Olaf is enraged to find that they haven't made roast beef and destroys the pasta puttanesca the children had prepared.^[6] The troupe stand up and clap and cheer, but they are surprised when Violet speaks up to Olaf and says he didn't tell them he wanted roast beef. They then watch as Olaf grabs Sunny, the youngest orphan, and strikes Klaus across the face. After Olaf puts the children to their bed, the troupe continue rehearsing downstairs.

In the troupe's performance of The Marvelous Marriage, which was actually a scheme in which Olaf would actually marry Violet and inherit her fortune, the bald man is in control of the hydraulics. Before the play, he notices a critic coming into the audience and informs the Hook-Handed man who asks for the critic's cape. The critic tells them not to try to get on his good side and sits down in the crowd. The Bald man and the hook-handed man both also help Justice Strauss prepare for her role as a judge. When Olaf says that the other actors he'd considered for her role lacked something, the bald man suggested hair. The bald man is offended when Olaf calls another character in the play a "naked-headed knave". He later trades his job at the hydraulics for a role in the play as a donkey, though this ends up allowing Klaus to escape and climb up into Olaf's tower room.^[7]

After Olaf's plan is foiled and he ends up being captured by the authorities, it's unknown what became of the bald man and the rest of his associates afterwards.

Video game

The Bald Man with the Long Nose appears as a recurring boss character in the video game, based on the 2004 Brad Silberling film, voiced by S. Scott Bullock. He first appears in the kitchen of Count Olaf's house, devouring meatballs from a bowl with a fork perfect for Violet's recently thought-up invention. Klaus asks the Bald Man politely if he could borrow the fork, but is declined. A boss battle begins, where the Bald Man flings the meatballs at the children using the fork, and Klaus is given the task of using the Brilliant Bopper to defeat the Bald Man and obtain the fork. The Bald Man then utters, "Stick a fork in me."

The Bald man defeated — The Bald Man defeated.

He appears later in Uncle Monty's garden courtyard area, disguised as Snake Soothsayer. He sinisterly offers to play a song for Violet and Klaus, which hypnotizes the snakes in Violet's Reptile Retriever, causing them to escape. A boss battle begins where Klaus, armed with the Brilliant Bopper, must attack The Bald Man in each of his four spots while avoiding the poison spitting frogs. Once the four spot part of the battle is finished, the player is then automatically switched to Violet to retrieve the snakes while avoiding the Bald Man's flute sonic blast. The process must be repeated until the fight ends.

The Bald Man then appears at Damocles Dock as the first boss, posing as a musical shop occupant who attacks Violet and Klaus with an anchor.

His final appearance occurs in the Marvelous Marriage battle sequence, where Klaus, armed with the eye, must attempt to burn the villain who holds the marriage certificate. The Bald Man appears among the potential holders of the certificate.

TV series

“	I'd like to make a withdrawal.	”
	— The Bald Man before capturing Jacquelyn Scieszka outside Mulctuary Money Management

The Bald Man appears in the TV series played by John DeSantis. This version doesn't have a long nose and is larger that the other members of Count Olaf's troupe. In addition, his Foreman Flacutono alias is instead used by the Hook-Handed Man. Unlike the book The Carnivorous Carnival, the Bald Man is not killed when Count Olaf throws Madame Lulu to the Volunteer Feline Detectives. He joins the rest of Count Olaf's troupe in heading to the Mortmain Mountains to seek out the V.F.D. Headquarters.

Trivia

In the book The Wide Window, Violet finds them the scariest in Olaf's troupe. Klaus disagrees, saying he finds the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender the scariest.^[8]