The Stain'd-by-the-Sea Department of Education is an establishment that appears in Shouldn't You Be in School?. In truth, there is no Department of Education as Stain'd-by-the-Sea only has one school, Stain'd Secondary School. The Department of Education building was formerly the Roe House establishment.


Based on Kellar Haines's and Moxie Mallahan's descriptions, the Department of Education is in charge of every pedagogical institution within the town limits. The mission of the Department of Education is to keep children safe from harm, for they are the future of the world. 

The building is used by Sharon Haines as a sham to trick S. Theodora Markson and Lemony Snicket into participating in a false mission, which is essential for the arrest of Dashiell Qwerty for alleged arson. 

Moxie points out that there wasn't a single article about the Department of Education in the archives of The Stain'd Lighthouse


From the outside, there are many vacant parking lots due to the mass inactivity in the town. According to Lemony Snicket, it is a tall, thin building, sagging against another tall, thin building to its right, and being sagged on by a tall, thin building to its left. Just over the door is a cardboard sign reading DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION over the engraved words of ROE HOUSE.

In contrast to Moxie's visual description of the premises, there is a small waiting area, separated from the large room by a wall that looks like it would fall over if one pushed it. In the middle of the wall was a swinging door, and tacked to the door was a sign that said WELCOME TO THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, WHERE LEARNING IS FUN! Another sign said LEARNING IS IMPORTANT!

There is a large wooden desk where Kellar types, accompanied with other educational motivational signs.