The Hostile Hospital
From ''The Lemony Snicket Wiki''
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 The cover of The Hostile Hospital. | ||||||||||||||||
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The Hostile Hospital is the eighth novel of the A Series of Unfortunate Events series by Lemony Snicket.
[edit] Plot Summary
At the start of the book, Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire arrive at the Last Chance General Store on the run from the police and residents of the Village of Fowl Devotees. They are falsely accused of murdering Jacques Snicket at the end of the previous book. There they find a shopkeeper who offers them breakfast and lets them send a telegram from the store to Mr. Poe seeking help, but he doesn't reply before the delivery of The Daily Punctilio forces the reported murderers to flee once more. Picked up by the Volunteers Fighting Disease. They ask them if they knew a Jacques, but they told them that they don't know him, and add that they don't know each other's real name, but only call each other brother and sister.
They reach Heimlich Hospital and get jobs with Hal in the Library of Records. Hal explains to them that they look familiar. He then says that he remembers them in a file about the Snicket fires. At night, they are forced to sleep in the unfinished half of the hospital where it's cold and damp. Reviewing the few pages of the commonplace books they received from Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, they discover the existence of the Snicket file. They play a trick on Hal to try to get it, but only succeed in retrieving the 13th page, which reads:
- Due to the evidence discussed on page 9, experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor's whereabouts are unknown.
It also says the rest was taken by the authorities. At this point, Esmé Squalor picks the lock on the door and chases them for the file. Klaus and Sunny escape up a chute, but Violet is too big and gets caught. Mattathias (who is actually Count Olaf posing as the Human Resources manager at the hospital) informs the hospital on the intercom that Klaus and Sunny are in the building.
They hide with the volunteers the next day and then they hear on the intercom system that their sister will be receiving an unwanted "Crainioectomy". They then hide in a supply closet and find out (by use of anagrams and alphabet soup) where the villains are hiding their sister, using the name "Laura V. Bleediotie". They disguise themselves as two "very short" doctors so they can get through the hospital. They use doctors' robes and surgical masks to cover their true identity. On their way they come across Esmé, who is carrying the long, sharp knife that Count Olaf threatened them with in The Reptile Room. She believes that they are the two white-faced women (regular associates of Count Olaf). She leads them to the hook-handed man and the bald-headed man, who leads them to Violet. They take Violet to the operating theater and begin the operation.
Although they briefly stall the operation by telling the history of the knife, Hal walks in accusing them of setting fire to the hospital. Esmé walks in along with the real white-faced women and "exposes" them. They are rounded upon and Violet wakes up. Esmé has set fire to the Library, and the fire is spreading. The person of indeterminate gender tries to catch them as they run through the hospital.
The three children hide in another closet which looks exactly like the other supply closet that Klaus and Sunny used. They then divert the crowd of escapees outside to the unfinished half of the hospital by acting like the intercom system and telling them that the Baudelaires have been spotted there. They must hurry for the intermediate gender is outside in the hallway trying to bust down the door to the closet. They use tied rubber-bands and bungee jump out of the building.
They hear Count Olaf yelling to his associates to put the disguises in the trunk and get in his long black car. Before the trunk is shut, the Baudelaires hide in the trunk of the car while he escapes with most of his assistants, but the "person of intermediate gender" is burnt to death. They can breathe in the trunk for there are bullet holes in it probably from high-speed chases with policemen.
[edit] Letter from Lemony Snicket
Dear Reader,
Before you throw this awful book to the ground and run as far away from it as possible, you should probably know why. This book is the only book that describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful books in the world.
There are many pleasant things to read about, but this book contains none of them. Within its pages, are such burdensome details such as a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. Clearly you do not want to read about such things.
I have sworn to research this story, and to write it down as best as I can, so I should know that this book is something best left on the ground, where you undoubtedly found it.
With all due respect,
