|The Situation Worsens|
October 1, 2002
The Situation Worsens is a boxed set consisting of the fourth, fifth and sixth books in A Series of Unfortunate Events. The set was released on October 1st 2002.
A door hanger is included in this box, which reads "Attention burglars: This is a linen closet, not a bedroom" on the front, and "Secrets often lie behind closed doors" on the back, written over Count Olaf's shadow.
Dear Reader: A Letter From Lemony Snicket
The back of this box set includes a letter from Lemony Snicket to the readers, summarizing the three book's content. It reads as follows:
If you are among those with unnatural interest in these books, rest assured: the box you are holding in your hands contains nothing that would interest you. You will find no secret evidence, encoded messages, confidential information, or scented snickers here. Whether you are a highly regarded member of a secret organization or a nefarious villain involved in a wicked conspiracy, you WILL NOT FIND HELPFUL INFORMATION in the pages of these books. I am not lying.
This box contains only the dismaying results of some upsetting research I have conducted into the tragic lives of the Baudelaire orphans. My findings, published here in three volumes entitled THE MISERABLE MILL, THE AUSTERE ACADEMY, and THE ERSATZ ELEVATOR, contain such atrocities as poorly paid employees, a hypnotist, an evil scheme, a gym teacher, dripping fungus, another evil scheme, a fake accent, three mysterious consonants, a red herring, and at least one more evil scheme. Clearly there is no earthly reason why a sensible person such as yourself would want to read such stories, unless there are several schemes you are part of yourself, and I am not lying about this, either.
Please follow my very fair directions and find some other, more pleasant box of books, and read the results of someone else's research before it is too late.
With all due respect,